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October 10, 2010

Tales from the Realm of 57 States

By Kyle-Anne Shiver and Lee Cary

It came to pass in the 2nd year of the reign of His Obamaness as POTUS of the Realm of 57 States, that gatherings of the Donkey Clan were held across the land in order to summon the Donkeys into herds around the Lord and Lady Donkeys who wished to represent the Clan in the Hallowed Temple in the East, the place where big decisions were made on behalf of the serfs and peasants of the Realm. Often without them knowing it.

These gatherings were festive occasions with loud exaltations and grand proclamations delivered by His Obamaness and His Princes and Princesses, with vivid accounts dutifully reported by the Guild of Town Criers loyal to His Obamaness.

And so it was in one of these gatherings that Joe the Court Jester, who before the people sat in the seat closest to His Obamaness, but away from the people was often off in foreign lands on missions of great unimportance, would be called upon to do what would in later years be known as...warm up the crowd.  

The people looked with some favor on Joe's humor coming from one who sat so close to the POTUS as did he, who once said, "I am second in line to become POTUS."  There being no one first in line other than hisownself, the crowd looked around until each realized Joe had against bested them with his legendary wit, upon which they laughed and slapped their Donkey flanks saying, "Joe's such a kick."

Now as the time for the bi-quadrennial joust with the Elephant Clan -- and a few miscellaneous mutant quadrupeds like Florida Charlie and Lisa of Alaska -- approached, it became clear to the Gray-backed Jackasses among the Donkey Clan that the peasants and serfs did not hold them in as high regard as they had when the Reign of His Obamaness had begun two revolutions around the Sun earlier. So all was not well with the Donkey Clan, and their ears hung low.

One by one, the prominent members of the Guild of Town Criers began to change their chant in the towns and villages at sundown when they cried out the TIME, the news of the week, and the Times in the giant towns on the east and west coasts of the Realm.  Instead of proclaiming, "Eight o'clock and all's well with hope and change," they began to say "Eight o'clock and this ain't the change we hoped for."  But by then, many of the townspeople and villagers had stopped listening to what the Criers said.  Had they proclaimed the earth as round, many would have looked upon the Criers' claim with much doubt.  Such had their stature in the Realm declined along with Him who they had promoted as POTUS before he was.   

Now it was the amidst this mood that Joe the Court Jester was called upon to warm up a Donkey crowd when he, in frustration at their unwillingness to chant "Yes we can!" became Joe the Sarcastic and exclaimed, "Among all the gathered peoples of the realm, your minds are those most dull!"

When the crowd perceived that he wasn't jesting this time, him who once entertained the people by commanding the lame to walk, unsuccessfully, and by explaining how it was necessary to spend money in order to avoid debtor's prison, was fundamentally transformed in the eyes of the people and became that which he derided.  Dull.

It was then that the Guild of Town Criers decided that Hillary, wife of a former POTUS called Sir William the Slick because of the circuitous lucidity of his tongue, returned to favor in the eyes of the Criers and they began to say, "Eight o'clock...and maybe she should replace Joe."

This they said for, you see, under their Criers' fedora hats were folded Donkey ears, despite their more frequently asked questions now about His Obamaness' ability to do long division. 

Hearing this said of Hillary, the Donkeys looked at each other, pondering in their Donkey hearts what this might mean.

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